Seven Short Crazies

Written by Tad. Posted in Kooks

What? Me? Stabbed?

A 27-year-old woman said she woke up in bed with 9 stab wounds. She said she had no idea how she got them.

 

Fire!

A 55-year-old man with schizophrenia who had stopped taking his medicines tried to start a fire in the emergency department lobby in order to burn himself to death.

 

Make That a Cracker Sandwich

A young woman said she was unable to swallow pills. She asked for two crackers. She put the pill between them, making a pill sandwich, which she ate.

 

Call me John

I introduced myself to a middle-aged man. “Hello. I’m Dr Tad. Are you Mr. Smith?” He looked at me but didn’t say anything. Rather, he presented me with a well-worn 3 by 5 inch piece of cardboard, edged in black electrician’s tape, on which was written, “Do not call me Sir or Mr.” He refused to say anything to me until I agreed to his demand. He wouldn’t say why he refused to let himself be called Sir or Mister.

 

Pen or Pencil?

A 43-year-old man who complained of suffering from “delusions” stabbed himself in both temples simultaneously with a pen and a pencil.

 

That’s Not Your Penis

A 29-year-old man came in with cuts on his hand from punching a wall. He said that when he went to urinate, a female voice in his head said, “That’s not your penis. That’s my penis.” This made him mad so he slugged the wall.

 

You Never Know if You Might Get Pregnant

 

A 30-year-old woman had a hysterectomy soon after giving birth. Four years later, she was pumping her breasts daily to keep the milk coming in case she got pregnant in her abdomen.

 

 

Salted Chocolate Chip Turbinado Cookies

Written by Tad. Posted in Cookies

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I frequently look for a recipe based on some ingredient I want to use. In this case, it was turbinado sugar. I was given a couple of bags of it by our friend, Lisa. She got it from her neighbor who inherited it when the neighbor’s mother died. It might bother some people to use a dead lady’s sugar and I had no idea how old it was. It looked, smelled and felt great and I doubt it was haunted so I went looking for a recipe to try it in.

Recipe By:

Adapted from Savory Sweet Life

Yield:

48

Ingredients:

1 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups turbinado sugar
3 tablespoons blackstrap molasses
2 large eggs, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2¾ cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1½ teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon sea salt, plus more for finishing
12 ounces bittersweet dark chocolate, cut into ¼-inch chunks

Instructions:

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. Line two baking sheets with a silpat or parchment paper.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and sea salt. Set aside.

4. In a large, heavy bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, beat the butter on low for 3 minutes.

5. Add the sugar and beat for 3 minutes more, until ingredients are light and airy. With mixer still on low, drizzle in the molasses.

6. Add the eggs, one at a time, then the vanilla extract, scraping down the sides as needed. Slowly fold in the flour, mixing just until combined.

7. Fold in the chocolate chunks, making sure they are well dispersed throughout the dough. Cover dough and chill in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

8. Use an ice cream scoop to shape the cookie dough into 2-tablespoon balls, and set on the prepared cookie sheets 3 inches apart. If desired, sprinkle each cookie with a small pinch of sea salt.

9. Bake 12 – 13 minutes, or until the edges are golden and the centers of the cookies are still soft. Cool on baking sheet for 3 minutes, and then use a spatula to set cookies on a wire cooling rack.

Fold Over Bag

Written by Tad. Posted in Trauma Strap Bags

I have struggled with zippers on my bags. I have just never been able to figure out how to put them on in an easy way. So, every time I make a bag that closes with a zipper, I swear I will never make another.

Here is a bag I made this week that closes but without a zipper. Maybe I can get figure out how to easily make these so I won’t miss zippers.

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Here it is, with the sides folded over and buckled in front.

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Here is what it looks like when unbuckled. It holds just as much stuff as my regular bags.

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Here it is open so you can see the Velcro I used to keep the upper edges apposed when it is buckled up. This is the first time I have used Velcro on a bag.

Chocolate Chip Rice Krispies Treat Cookies

Written by Tad. Posted in Cookies

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I bought Rice Krispies to make Wasabi Pea Lace Cookies with Lime Butter Cream Filling (one of my favorites!) and had so many left over I went looking for a cookie recipe. A lot of them come from Kellogg’s and were not too inspiring. I really liked this one. Even though I am not a real Rice Krispy Treat fan, I thought these cookies were fun.

Recipe By:

spoonforkbacon.com

Serving Size:

36

Ingredients:

½ cup butter, softened
½ cup granulated sugar
½ cup light brown sugar
1 egg
1½ teaspoons vanilla
1½ cups all-purpose flour, plus 2 tablespoons
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
2 cups Rice Krispies cereal
1 cup bittersweet chocolate chips, * See Notes
1 cup mini marshmallows, ** See Notes

Directions:

1. Heat oven to 350°F.

2. In a large mixing bowl with an electric mixer cream together butter and sugars. Scrape down sides of the bowl and mix in egg and vanilla.

3. In another bowl whisk together flour, baking soda and salt.

4. Add flour mixture to the butter mixture and stir together until just combined.

5. Fold in the cereal, chocolate chips and marshmallows until fully incorporated.

6. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to an hour. *** See Notes

7. Drop 2 tablespoon sized balls of dough onto a baking sheet lined with parchment, about 1 inch apart. The cookies will spread some but not a lot.

8. Bake 11 to 14 minutes or until cookies have barely begun to brown.

9. Allow cookies to cool for at least 5 minutes before removing from baking sheets.

Notes:

* I used semi-sweet chocolate chips

**  I used Jet-Puffed Mallow Bits in the plastic bottle. They don’t melt like the mini marshmallows do and stay chewing which is a nice contrast to the crunch of the Rice Krispies.

*** I scoop the dough balls with a cookie scoop and skip this step.

Black Flower on Blue

Written by Tad. Posted in Trauma Strap Bags

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The first time someone asked me to make a black and blue bag, I didn’t think I would like it. I think this goes back to the days when my father taught me to not wear a combination of black and blue clothing. Well, I am sure my dad taught me well but I was  wrong about black and blue together in a Tad Bag. This turned out very nice.

A Bad Circumcision

Written by Tad. Posted in Kooks

A couple of weeks ago, my postings were about Customer Service complaints. Here is another complaint that came to me while I was Chair of the emergency department. I quote:

The reason why I am filing a law suit is because a reasonable cause reason I got circumzise but it was many years ago, and, when I masterbate no spurm comes out and I believe it’s never to late to file a law suit on this kind of a case the amount of the law suit I am filing is for $6000,000 please

Thank You Vary Much

Orange and Blue Bags This Week

Written by Tad. Posted in Trauma Strap Bags

I spent some spare time the last couple of weeks making these bags. My wife asked me why I made seven and I told her it was because that is how many bottoms could be cut out of the material. Doing seven at a time makes me more efficient but at times I do feel like I am in a sweat shop. I crammed them in my locker at work and they are gone already!

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You Swallowed What?

Written by Tad. Posted in Kooks

Here are four stories of crazy things crazy people said they swallowed.

A 38-year-old man came in complaining of heavy salivation and pain in the abdomen and throat after drinking a cup of someone else’s urine a day earlier. He wouldn’t say why he did this but said he had been drinking a lot of liquids recently in order to flush out his system.

 

A middle-aged lady had been having abdominal pains, which were worse after eating. She had schizophrenia and was very obese. After talking with her, I was worried she might have gallstones since gallstones are more likely to be painful after eating, especially after meals of fatty or greasy food.

I ordered some pain medicine and blood tests. When I went back to see how she was doing, she was eating a huge chocolate bar and washing it down with a pint of half and half! When I asked her about it, she told me her mom always told her to drink milk to coat her stomach when she had a stomachache. She didn’t seem to think it was at all weird to drink half and half, which she repeatedly referred to as “milk.”

 

A 44-year-old man with a history of schizophrenia came in saying he was having a lot of problems caused by a cigarette lighter he swallowed years ago. He was sure it was stuck in his rectum. It was causing his stools to be grooved and was giving him prolonged erections and “terrific ejaculations” like he had not had since he was 30. The lighter was pressing forward against his prostate and he could feel it when he pinched his anal sphincter. He had seen multiple doctors for this and no one was able to find the lighter.

I did a rectal exam and an x-ray and was also unable to identify the cause of his symptoms.

 

A 41-year-old man was brought in from jail. He said he was brushing his teeth at 2:00 in the morning when the toothbrush broke off in his mouth, cutting his gums. This caused him to vomit. During the vomiting spell, he swallowed the head of the toothbrush. He subsequently passed blood and “stuff that looked like cow liver” from his rectum.

He arrived in the emergency department complaining of discomfort in his throat and abdomen. A check of his old records showed he had recently been seen for swallowing a coin.

On his examination there was no evidence of any injury or blood in his mouth or rectum.

As a test to make sure he was OK, we gave him some crackers and orange juice, which he ate without any problem. Afterwards, he said that when he was not observed, he vomited up the toothbrush but then he swallowed it again before he could get it out of his mouth.

He was sent back to jail.

A New Button

Written by Tad. Posted in Uncategorized

My web Guru and son-in-law, Taylor, made a cool change to the the web page today. He added a button titled “ER Stories.” It is on the right, just under the “Cookie Recipes” button. You can click it and see the whole list of crazy stories from the emergency department. Check it out!

Copyright © 2014 Bad Tad, MD