Three Penis Problems

Caught His Penis In the Mattress

A nineteen-year-old said he cut his penis when he rolled over and caught it in the spring of an old mattress.

“It must have been a really old mattress,” I observed.

He later admitted he was “messing around with my girlfriend” when it happened but was too embarrassed to admit it.

Bit by His Cousin

A 4-year-old boy was brought in by his grandmother. He was complaining of pain in the penis.

She said she placed the boy and his 5-year-old cousin in the bathtub to bathe. The boy splashed water on his cousin. That made the cousin got mad and he bit the patient on the penis.

The boy’s penis was swollen and purple.

Certified Wart-Free

A man in his twenties came in for a certification that he had no venereal warts. His ex-girlfriend had told his present girlfriend that he had given the previous girlfriend genital warts. His present girlfriend was refusing to have sex with him until he presented her with a certification that it was safe.