Written by Tad. Posted in Kooks

Steven Colbert does a segment on his “A Late Show” that he calls “Meanwhile.” It is a collection of little news items, too small to stand alone as a story on his show. I would like to do a little “Bad Tad Meanwhile.” A little fact about a patient where there is no more information available or it doesn’t matter. Just weird encounters in the emergency department.
Twice I have had to dig little beads out of the craters in teeth caused by severe cavities. One was in a child and one was a 22-year-old man.
A 20-year-old man came in with a complaint of uncontrollable farting when he gets nervous.
A 22-year-old female was hit in the thigh with a lime that was shot from a gun. I had heard of potato cannons before but never one that had been modified to shoot citrus.
A 38-year-old man came in with a heavy metal ring on penis, which was purple and markedly swollen. I was unable to cut it off (the ring) with anything we had in the hospital. Some passing paramedics saw what was going on. They left and came back with bolt cutters that did the job.
In one shift, I saw had 17-year-old patients who claimed that they couldn’t get pregnant because their husbands “always pull out in time.”
More Bad Tad Meanwhile next time!

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Comments (2)

  • Corky


    Holy cow, just reading this reminded me of work & I did have to chuckle b/c no one would believe this craziness. OK “meanwhile“ carry on.


  • Ruth Bankson


    I’ve had the penis ring, he ended up in surgery. I would say “you’ve got to be kidding “ but hello it is the “emergency room”.

    We had a lady come in to an ER with “sexual problems “.
    She couldn’t have an orgasm! Said she’d tried everything.
    The doctor gave her a referral. She threw it on the ground and said, “I want it fixed and fixed now or I’ll sue you and the hospital.” We quietly said sorry and exited the room.


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