Toffee Oat Cookies

Written by Tad. Posted in Cookies

This is a very basic and easy to make recipe. People went pretty crazy over them in the emergency department Thursday night!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recipe By:

Taste of Home Cookbook. If you Google this recipe name, you can find many different versions.

Serving Size:

36

 Ingredients:

¾ cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar, packed
¾ cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 ¼ cups flour
2 ¼ cups oats
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ tsp. salt
1 package toffee bits*

 Directions:

1. Heat oven to 375 degrees.

2. Combine flour, oats, soda, baking powder and salt. Set aside.

3. Cream butter and sugars.

4. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Beat in vanilla.

5. Gradually beat in flour mixture.

6. Stir in toffee bits.

7. Bake at 375 for 10-12 minutes until just turning brown in the bottoms and around the edges.

 Notes:

* I think the original recipe had in mind little toffee bits like Hershey’s Heath Bits ‘O’ Brickle Baking Pieces. The cookies are a lot more interesting if the pieces of candy are bigger. I lightly smash a 10-ounce bag of Werther’s toffee candies. I put them in a Ziploc bag, place the bag on my anvil then hit each piece one time. This keeps the pieces pretty large which is what makes these cookies interesting.

Bloody Smile Man

Written by Tad. Posted in Kooks

I went into the room of a man about sixty-five years old. He was naked except for a disposable diaper. He was strapped down by leather restraints on all four of his extremities because he had been disruptive at the psychiatric home where he stays.

He had been sent in to the emergency department because he was on Coumadin, a medicine that decreases the blood’s ability to clot. He had been having some bleeding from his mouth that concerned his caretakers.

He was smiling a big, wide, toothy smile. There was fresh, red blood all over the visible parts of his mouth, teeth and lips. It was running down his chin, neck and into his right armpit. Along with the wild-eyed look on his face, it would have made a great scene for a horror show.

I opened with my usual: “Hello, I’m Dr. Tad. Welcome to The Medical Center.”

His eyes seemed to open even wider and he spit a little bit of blood with each consonant as he said, “Well, hello, Dr. Tad. Do you want to suck my dick?” I wish I could fully convey how bizarre, funny and sad it was at the same time. The nurse and I just lost it and I had to walk out of the room to get our composure.

 

Bachelor Party Gone Bad

Written by Tad. Posted in Kooks

A 21-year-old woman was drinking with her girl friends the night before she was to be wed. They decided to crash the bachelor party that was going on at that same time. I don’t know exactly what the ladies did once they arrived at the party but they left quickly. When they jumped in the car and drove away, the bachelors chased after them.

As they raced each other in their respective cars, the bachelors pulled up next to the ladies. The groom then threw a full can of beer at the other car. It went in an open window and struck the bride on the side of the face and knocked her unconscious.

By the time she arrived in the emergency department, she was alert but had a badly bruised face and hysterical blindness in one eye. The bride’s CAT scan showed no broken bones or brain injury. Her vision returned and she was discharged home to get married the next day – or not.

Cashew Caramel Cookies

Written by Tad. Posted in Cookies

 

These are like peanut butter cookies but rather than peanut butter, you make your own cashew butter. With the caramel melted on top, it is really more like eating candy than a cookie. I mean really amazing.

Recipe By:

See Notes

Ingredients:

1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon salt
2 ½ cups roasted salted cashews
2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon canola oil
8 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
¾ cup packed light-brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
24 cubes soft caramel candy (7 ounces)
¼ cup heavy cream

Directions:

  1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Sift flour and salt together. Set aside.
  3. Coarsely chop 1 cup cashews. Set aside.
  4. Process remaining 1½ cups cashews in a food processor until finely chopped. Pour in oil. Process until mixture is creamy, about 2 minutes.
  5. Put cashew mixture, butter, and sugars in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on medium speed until fluffy, about 2 minutes.
  6. Mix in egg and vanilla.
  7. Reduce speed to low. Gradually add flour mixture. Mix until combined. Mix in reserved chopped cashews.
  8. Shape dough into 1 ½ -inch balls. Space 2 inches apart on 2 parchment-lined baking sheets.
  9. Bake 6 minutes. Quickly remove from oven and gently flatten. I use a cork that is just the right size to leave an indentation.
  10. Return to oven and bake until bottoms are just golden, 6 to 7 minutes more. Let cool completely on sheets on wire racks.
  11. Melt caramels with cream in a small saucepan over low heat, stirring. Let cool. Using a spoon or plastic bag with hole cut in the corner, drizzle caramel over cookies.
  12. Let set. Store airtight in single layers.

Notes:

Rather than melt caramels with cream, we took some of my favorite Peter’s caramel, formed balls about ¼ ounce or the size of fifty cent piece and placed one in the center of each cookie about 2 minutes before they were done baking.

I have no idea where I got this recipe but when I Googled it, I found the same recipe all over the web:

http://www.marthastewart.com/316696/cashew-caramel-cookies

http://everylastcookie.blogspot.com/2009/09/cookie-043-cashew-caramel-cookies.html

http://www.grouprecipes.com/73238/cashew-caramel-cookies.html

http://www.food.com/recipe/cashew-caramel-cookies-390761

Call Dallas for Help

Written by Tad. Posted in Kooks

The medics brought in a 41-year-old man whose wife found him unresponsive in bed next to her in the middle of the night. She didn’t know what to do so she called her sister-in-law who was halfway across the country in Dallas, Texas. The wife didn’t speak English so the sister-in-law called our 911 system for help. It’s unclear if the man was actually dead when his wife discovered him. But any chance of reviving him was gone by the time the paramedics actually got to his home.

By doing CPR and injecting him with adrenalin, the medics were able to get some electrical activity to show up in his heart. They transported him to us, continuing CPR. I used an ultrasound machine to look at the man’s heart. There was no pumping activity, which means there was nothing anyone could do. He was dead.

I then had to go tell the man’s pregnant wife and three and five year-old daughters they no longer had a husband and father. That is the worst part of my job.

When I got to the private family room used for difficult conversations like this, I followed my usual pattern of introducing myself and sitting down. The chair I took happened to be next to the older of the two daughters. With the help of a Vietnamese translator, I told the wife her husband was dead. As I did s, I tried to show sensitivity to her and also to the girls. I was surprised to note they showed no emotion at all. When I looked at the older girl, touched her on the shoulder and told her I was sorry, she smiled at me. I wonder, as the years go by, what kind of memory she will have of that event and of me.

 

Rudolph’s Cranberry Snapz

Written by Tad. Posted in Cookies

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am not sure how I came across this recipe. Don’t make them if you are in a hurry. You need to have some time but they are well worth it. They would be a great cookie to show off at a holiday party.

Recipe By:

Diningaround.com

 Ingredients:

¼ cup orange juice
3 cups powdered sugar
¼ cup caramel topping
6 tablespoons sour cream
1 cup pecans, chopped finely
1 cup dried cranberries, chopped finely
1 cup butter, softened
2 cups brown sugar, packed
2 large eggs
1 cup dried cranberries, finely chopped
1 tablespoon crystallized ginger, finely chopped
1 teaspoon orange zest
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 2/3 cups flour, 16.5 ounces
½ cup pecans, chopped
1 ½ teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon nutmeg
¼ teaspoon ginger

 Directions:

1. Pecan Topping: Combine 1 cup cranberries, 1 cup pecans, sour cream and caramel topping. Set aside.

2. Orange Glaze: In a mixing bowl, stir together powdered sugar and cup orange juice. Set aside.

3. Heat oven to 350°F.

4. Beat brown sugar and butter until creamy. Add eggs, 1 cup cranberries, ginger, orange peel and vanilla. Beat until combined.

5. In medium bowl combine flour, pecans, cinnamon, baking soda, baking powder, ginger and salt.

6. Gradually beat flour mixture into the butter mixture. Mix until well combined.

7.  Drop 1 tablespoon balls of dough about 4 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets or cookie sheets lines with baking parchment. Flatten slightly, making and indentation in the center.

8. Spoon 1 teaspoon of pecan topping onto the center of each unbaked cookie.

9. Bake 12-13 min.

10. Transfer cookies to a cooling rack. Cool completely.

11. Drizzle with orange glaze.

 Notes:

These were a little complicated to make but are FABULOUS! Shari says the flavors remind her of the holidays.

Who the heck was Rudolph, any way?

 

 

 

 

Black Bags

Written by Tad. Posted in Trauma Strap Bags

A nurse asked me for a black, square bag. It was not something I would have made for myself but she was very pleased. A clerk asked for a black one so I put a flower on it for her. Here they are.

I like them a lot but don’t make many black bags because the black straps are the rarest. I try to use them mostly for trip and contrasting colors.

 

Don’t Steal Medications and Don’t Hide Them in Your Butt Crack

Written by Tad. Posted in Kooks

A 27-year-old man was dropped off by his friends after having been assaulted. He said he had been kicked and punched by several men earlier in the evening.

On exam, he was found to have hospital scrubs on under his clothes and was wearing hospital booties for socks. He had minor trauma on his face. When he was rolled over to check his back, a partially-used bottle of tetanus vaccine was found tucked in his gluteal fold (butt crack.)

When I asked about it, he said he had been naked when he was in the ambulance and had rolled over and it accidentally stuck there. I pointed out to him that he didn’t come in by ambulance and that ambulances don’t carry tetanus shots.

He thought for a second then said, “I don’t want to lie.” He then told a story about how his friend had given him the bottle as he headed to the emergency department, telling him it was pain medicine. He could use it if he needed it once he got here and no one would give him anything for pain. Once he took the medicine from his friend, he got worried he would get busted for having it so he hid it in his butt crack.

The third story that eventually came out was probably closest to the truth. He finally admitted he had been at another hospital earlier in the evening and left against medical advice before his evaluation had been concluded. While there, he saw the bottle of tetanus vaccine and, thinking it was pain medicine, stole it. On arrival at hour hospital, he became worried he would get caught with it so he tucked it in there for safekeeping.

My evaluation found nothing more than alcohol intoxication and some minor facial trauma. He was discharged home, without the tetanus vaccine.

Copyright © 2014 Bad Tad, MD